Andrew Tobias

I was a writer for 'New York' magazine. I had been to business school, but what did I know? Still, everybody from the receptionists on up to the editor would ask me what they should do with their money.

The best thing I have are 5 percent bonds from 1780, denominated from $1 to $20. As far as I can tell, they are obligations from the United States of America, so I should be able to walk down to the Federal Reserve and redeem the uncanceled ones. With 217 years of accrued interest, for a $20 bond, that's about $800,000.

A lot of people give actors credit when they gain weight for a role in a drama when they win an Oscar, but when you're doing a sitcom, people don't give you a lot of credit, because you've got to keep your weight on for five or six years if it's successful.