Al Goldstein

Celebrity gives us delusion of self importance.

Married sex is like being awake during your own autopsy. It is root canal work without anesthetic.

There is a cliche that men want their women to be ladies in public and hookers behind closed doors. I want my woman to be the sharper image robot so that she can be turned off.

I'm a big action junkie. I grew up on the '80s action movies - the bad ones and the good ones.

God knows we are subtle creatures who are more than able to use candour to avoid acknowledging our deceptions of others and ourselves.

When I was presenting 'Animal Hospital,' the grey started to creep into my beard and moustache. I used my wife's mascara to darken it.