The moment I'm perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan. Toby Young bitecareermoment Change image and share on social
My life's ambition is to play a James Bond villain. I have the cat and the eye-patch, so I'm just waiting for the call. For some reason, though, the phone hasn't rung. Toby Young ambitionbondcall Change image and share on social
You know when you tell a self-deprecating story at a dinner party, everyone's laughing along with you? But then when someone else repeats that same story at another dinner party you feel they're all laughing at you? Toby Young deprecatedinnerfeel share on social
If anything bad happens, the media will leap on it. We're under a huge obligation to be successful. Toby Young badhugeleap Change image and share on social
I've never been to a shrink. But my parents were very psychologically literate - my father had undergone Freudian analysis - and we often talked about other people in psychological terms, so I picked up a lot of that. Toby Young analysisfatherfreudian share on social
I wouldn't describe myself as a master of anything. Toby Young describemaster Change image and share on social
I expect that in 40 years' time I'll be writing political tomes and working for an organisation like Oxfam. Toby Young expectorganisationoxfam Change image and share on social
When I was writing my column, I would almost always be recognized when I was in a restaurant, even if I was reviewing it and had booked under a fake name, so free stuff would start coming out of the kitchen on a conveyer belt, fantastic wines would be opened at my table. Now I can't even get a reservation on the pizza joint on the corner. Toby Young beltbookcolumn share on social
I tried being a mechanic and I tried catering, but I realized I had even less aptitude for semi-skilled labour than for academic work. Toby Young academicaptitudecater Change image and share on social
I've become a professional failure - in order to pay the mortgage I have to remain unemployed. Luckily, a disaster always seems to befall me at exactly the right moment. Toby Young befalldisasterfailure Change image and share on social