I am a total coffee snob and bore. If anyone makes the mistake of offering me 'a coffee' they tend to regret it - I'm worse than Mariah Carey, and the hot milk rider is completely non-negotiable. Rachel Johnson badlybearcarey Change image and share on social
I think everyone can recognize the one-upmanship and the competition that go on wherever you are, especially among groups where the women don't have to hold down office jobs and instead get in a total snit about who won the longest carrot contest or took first prize for summer chutney in the August fete. Rachel Johnson augustcarrotchutney share on social
I talk to bankers, distributors, marketing people. I used to sit at home in my tracksuit bottoms, and the real excitement of my day would be going out to get a copy of 'Private Eye' and a latte. Rachel Johnson bankerbottomcopy Change image and share on social
It's very hard to self-motivate without someone standing over you snarling, ready to hurl the chalk at your head at the slightest slackening. Rachel Johnson chalkhardhead Change image and share on social
I'm worried about looking like a bad person when, in fact, I try to be a good person. I don't like the public image that I've been dressed with and it worries me. Rachel Johnson baddressfact Change image and share on social
The reason we all need a mutton alert, which needs constant testing, like smoke alarms, is because there is really no such thing as age-appropriate dressing any longer, as I know because my wardrobe is interchangeable with my daughter's. Rachel Johnson agealarmalert share on social
If you tell the truth you get into trouble, and that's why politicians are extremely dull. Rachel Johnson dullextremelypolitician Change image and share on social
Being blonde, for me, means never having to say: 'I'll have the honey-striped half-head of highlights for £200,' to a bored colourist in a Mayfair salon, which is much more satisfying, not to mention cheap. Rachel Johnson blondeborecheap share on social
It's often discouraging sitting working at home, wondering whether to put the heating on, answering the doorbell to the gas board, feeling it's all utterly pointless. Rachel Johnson answerboarddiscourage Change image and share on social
Being blonde means people decide on sight that you are much prettier and nicer than you really are, just as Americans automatically add 10 points to someone's IQ when they hear an English accent. Fact. Rachel Johnson accentaddamerican share on social