Popular Quotes

When people say hello to me, I feel like maybe I know them from somewhere, because they say, like, 'Hi! How are you?' And I'm like, 'Oh, hi!' And then I realize, 'Oh, no, they just think they know me because they watched me in a movie.' Which is cool, but definitely not a normal thing.

When people say, 'Hey, wanna come to our house for dinner?' I say, 'Yeah, what should I bring?' They say, 'How about the dessert?' I just don't skimp on the dessert. I make it the yummy way it should be made, and then I just don't eat the whole pan.

When people say, 'How did you start in comedy,' I say my family was kidnapped by ninjas when I was very young, and to get them released I had to do a killer five-minute set. And even after I did that, you know, I started doing comedy under tough circumstances, I still kept at it because I enjoyed it.

When people say, 'I don't see you enough,' well just because you don't see me don't mean I don't exist, or just 'cause you haven't heard me don't mean I haven't been making noise. But if I keep making noise, you'll pick up.

When people say I have become a celebrity, I remind them of fame's flip side. For instance, if I want to watch a movie in a cinema, I have to enter through a side exit just before the film begins and leave by the same exit before the credits roll.