I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place. Paul Merton disappointhaveinvest Change image and share on social
Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich. Paul Merton allowcallclass Change image and share on social
I never give anyone advice: it can backfire horribly. In the 1950s, Eric Morecambe told Ken Dodd to get his teeth fixed. But those teeth turned out to be one of Dodd's big selling points. Paul Merton 1950sadvicebackfire Change image and share on social
In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time - midnight - and we were English. I got kicked in the head. Paul Merton attackcomedyenglish share on social
Beginning with a trip out to Ellis Island, I saw for myself where thousands of European immigrants took their first steps onto American soil, bringing with them nothing but their ambition: people such as Erich von Stroheim and Adolph Zukor. Paul Merton adolphambitionamerican share on social
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection. Paul Merton connectioncontradictionfriend share on social
At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.' Paul Merton backstageburstdistraught share on social
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years. Paul Merton dayenduregive Change image and share on social
I was never one to go up to someone as a five- or six-year-old and say, 'Hello, my name's Paul, will you be my friend?' But I found if I did an impression of the PE teacher or whatever and people laughed, then they did like me, and so then they started talking to me, rather than me making the initial overture and then maybe being rebuffed. Paul Merton findfriendimpression share on social