'Bunk' is better than 'Wheel of Fortune' because we have a wheel, just like them, but our wheel is purposeless. It doesn't do anything. It just spins for no reason. Which is nice because it frees our wheel up to really pursue its dream: becoming a professional paddlewheel. Kurt Braunohler bunkdreamfortune share on social
There are a billion songs that I've heard and said, 'I don't even care to have an opinion about it,' but if I have to hear a snippet of the refrain of 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' once, it'll get stuck in my head, and that drives me crazy. Kurt Braunohler backbillioncare share on social
For a long time, I dressed like an idiot. In college, I had a fully shaved head with just two horns. Like, a coxcomb of hair that I would sculpt into two horns. I looked like a crazy person. Kurt Braunohler collegecoxcombcrazy Change image and share on social
A lot of improvisers mistakenly assume stand-up is awful, because there are a lot of stand-ups in the world that did not appeal to me. It was so easy to make a blanket statement when I was improvising only: 'Stand-up's terrible.' It's so ignorant and stupid to do that. But it's easy to do that. So that's where I came from. Kurt Braunohler appealassumeawful share on social
New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down - he gets polished. Kurt Braunohler grindplacepolish Change image and share on social
The entire New York comedy scene has moved to L.A. - it's bled the New York comedy scene dry. Kurt Braunohler bleedcomedyentire Change image and share on social
You don't become a fully-formed human as a female, or even a male, until you're at least 30. Kurt Braunohler femaleformfully Change image and share on social
It is an intern's job to go for coffee for anyone who asks, preferably delivering it scalding hot and cupped in your bare hands! Kurt Braunohler askbarecoffee Change image and share on social
I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I'm a very late comer to the podcast game. But you're responsibility as a comedian is to get your viewpoints out into the world, and we have a lot more avenues to do that. So it's a lot more opportunity, but really have to work all the time. Kurt Braunohler avenuecomediancomer share on social
For a long time, I would go out of my way to have a personal appearance on the verge of an insane person, because it was closer to how I felt, but I looked so dumb. So, I just stopped. It was like, 'I'm just going to look like a banker.' Kurt Braunohler appearancebankerclose share on social