If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson dinnereatfarnsworth Change image and share on social
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. Johnny Carson daydrinkfood Change image and share on social
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day. Johnny Carson businessdayevolve Change image and share on social
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Johnny Carson barnkidnaive Change image and share on social
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. Johnny Carson anytimearguebank Change image and share on social
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die. Johnny Carson dielivelong Change image and share on social
If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. Johnny Carson alivedeadelvis Change image and share on social
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. Johnny Carson catchdentistdrill Change image and share on social
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. Johnny Carson democracygrowmean Change image and share on social