All Quotes

If Jesus were here today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey. He'd be taking a plane, he'd be using the media.
‐‐ Joel Osteen

If Jesus were living in our culture, he would probably hang out in coffeehouses.
‐‐ Mark Batterson

If Jews don't come to Nazareth, Arabs don't go to Afula. There is fear on both sides.
‐‐ Ayman Odeh

If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam - oh wait, he does.
‐‐ Ann Coulter

If journalism is good, it is controversial, by its nature.
‐‐ Julian Assange

If journalism is the first draft of history, then talk radio provides an early glimpse into how the meaning of political events will be spun for ideological and partisan purposes.
‐‐ Jackson Katz

If journalists ask you again and again about the same bands, you'll end up saying you hate them just because you're so fed up with being asked all those stupid questions.
‐‐ Billie Joe Armstrong

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
‐‐ Adam Carolla

If Judd Apatow called me, I'd do it without thinking about it. I think he does really fun movies.
‐‐ Kimberly Elise

If Jurgen Klinsmann thinks that the best way for his team to be successful is if his young players go to Europe, there is nobody in the world who can argue with that. That is his opinion, whether you agree with it or not.
‐‐ Tim Howard

If just one person, one child who is made to feel isolated, looks at me and sees that it is okay to be your own person and walk down your own path, then everything I have ever gone through will be worth it.
‐‐ Johnny Weir

If justice is supposed to be fair, than any justice system you would hope is based on fairness.
‐‐ Peter Jackson

If Kate Moss hadn't been booked when she was 14, Kate Moss might not exist.
‐‐ Carine Roitfeld

If kept dry, a chocolate with a high cacao content, I've discovered, rarely spoils.
‐‐ Bill Buford

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.
‐‐ Patton Oswalt

If kids and teenagers can get into a band, it's probably not because they think it's brainy.
‐‐ Ezra Koenig

If kids can forget their own mothers but still have a sense of comrade Lenin, then Soviet power really is here to stay!
‐‐ Andrei Platonov

If kids can have some sort of social responsibility, that's cool. But if they're not actually having social responsibility, and they're kind of hiding behind it, that's kind of useless, or even worse.
‐‐ Diplo

If kids can learn how to make a simple Bolognese sauce, they will never go hungry. It's pretty easy to cook pasta, but a good sauce is way more useful.
‐‐ Emeril Lagasse

If kids like a picture book, they're going to read it at least 50 times, and their parents are going to have to read it with them. Read anything that often, and even minor imperfections start to feel like gravel in the bed.
‐‐ Mark Haddon

If kids see you on the street and they want an autograph, that's a big honour so I spend half an hour before I get in the ground and 40 minutes to an hour after the game with the Everton fans signing autographs.
‐‐ Timothy F. Cahill

If kind parents love their children and delight in their happiness, then he who is perfect goodness in sending abroad mortal contagions doth assuredly direct their use.
‐‐ John Woolman

If knowledge and foresight are too penetrating and deep, unify them with ease and sincerity.
‐‐ Xun Kuang

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
‐‐ Isaac Asimov

If Kuwait grew carrots we wouldn't give a damn.
‐‐ Lawrence Korb

If Lady Gaga is like an orange Bugatti Veyron, then I am like a black 1970 Chevelle.
‐‐ Caity Lotz

If landscape is a character for me, then it helps if I'm familiar with it and I already have a take on it.
‐‐ Nic Pizzolatto

If language did not affect behavior, it could have no meaning.
‐‐ Kenneth L. Pike

If large financial institutions can break the law and accumulate million in profits - and, if they get caught, settle by paying out of those profits - they do not have much incentive to follow the law.
‐‐ Elizabeth Warren

If large numbers of people believe they have no shot at a better life in the future, they will work less hard and generate fewer new ideas and businesses. The economy, as a whole, will be poorer.
‐‐ Adam Davidson

If Latinos stay at home, we determine the outcome of an election.
‐‐ Tony Cardenas

If laws acting upon private interests can not always be avoided, they should be confined within the narrowest limits, and left wherever possible to the legislatures of the States.
‐‐ Martin Van Buren

If leadership is something that is in-your-face, then that is a different type of leadership.
‐‐ Marcia Fudge

If left unchecked, global change will create violent conflict, torrential storms, shrinking coastlines, and irreversible catastrophe.
‐‐ Valerie Jarrett

If left untreated, Lyme disease can be crippling, yet it is a difficult illness to contract: a tick needs to attach itself to your body for at least twenty-four hours. Even then, two weeks worth of commonly prescribed antibiotics will kill the bacterium.
‐‐ Michael Specter

If left-wing extremism continues to flourish in parts which have natural resources of minerals, the climate for investment would certainly be affected.
‐‐ Anil Agarwal

If lenders are forced to scale back student lending because private student loans are subject to bankruptcy discharge, many students will be denied access to higher education.
‐‐ Trent Franks

If liberalism discredited itself, Obama woulda never gotten elected, and the New Deal woulda gone by the wayside, and LBJ woulda never gotten the Great Society. Liberalism does not discredit itself. It has to be explained and beaten back.
‐‐ Rush Limbaugh

If liberalism is to mean anything at all, it is duty bound to support without hesitation the dissenting individual over the group, the heretic over the orthodox, innovation over stagnation, and free speech over offense.
‐‐ Maajid Nawaz

If liberals want to send tens of millions of dollars down the drain, I have no problem with that.
‐‐ Paul Weyrich

If Liberia has failed, then, it is no evidence of the failure of the Negro in government. It is merely evidence of the failure of slavery.
‐‐ Carter G. Woodson

If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost.
‐‐ Aristotle

If liberty has any meaning it means freedom to improve.
‐‐ Philip Wylie

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
‐‐ George Orwell

If life doesn't offer a game worth playing, then invent a new one.
‐‐ Anthony J. D'Angelo

If life gives you lemons, don't settle for simply making lemonade - make a glorious scene at a lemonade stand.
‐‐ Elizabeth Gilbert

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.
‐‐ Conan O'Brien

If life gives you limes, make margaritas.
‐‐ Jimmy Buffett

If life had a second edition, how I would correct the proofs.
‐‐ John Clare