All Quotes

If I were a worm, I would rather be the long-lived mutant than the normal worm, that's for sure.
‐‐ Cynthia Kenyon

If I were a writer and not a singer in 10 years, I don't know how I'd feel about writing really personal songs and getting someone else to sing them.
‐‐ Adele

If I were a writer, how I would enjoy being told the novel is dead. How liberating to work in the margins, outside a central perception. You are the ghoul of literature. Lovely.
‐‐ Don DeLillo

If I were a young coach today, I would be extremely careful in selecting assistants.
‐‐ John Wooden

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.
‐‐ Dan Castellaneta

If I were afraid of wrinkles, I'd probably be hiding in a cupboard, because I have a lot of them.
‐‐ Susie Orbach

If I were again beginning my studies, I would follow the advice of Plato and start with mathematics.
‐‐ Galileo Galilei

If I were amazing with a sword, I wouldn't care about the tender things in life.
‐‐ Gwendoline Christie

If I were an actress today at the age of 18, I would never make it, because now our young actresses all seem to be very beautiful and very talented right away.
‐‐ Jamie Lee Curtis

If I were an animal, I would be an eagle.
‐‐ Jamie Foxx

If I were an innocent individual, flown to a foreign country and held for several years and tortured, I'd become a terrorist, too. I'd go to war against the U.S.
‐‐ Jesse Ventura

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
‐‐ Ryan Stiles

If I were asked for a one-sentence sound bite on religion, I would say I was against it.
‐‐ Salman Rushdie

If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.
‐‐ Gaston Bachelard

If I were asked to say the most important things that lead to a successful life, I should say that, first of all, was integrity - unimpeachable integrity.
‐‐ Charles M. Schwab

If I were assigned poems I suppose I'd write more of them but it is entirely voluntary and for the most part ignored in the market sense of the word so the language to me is most intimate, most important, most sublime and most satisfying when it gets done.
‐‐ Thomas Lynch

If I were attorney general in Kansas in 1953, I would not have defended a Kansas statute that put in place separate-but-equal facilities.
‐‐ Eric Holder

If I were brave enough to say so, I'd like to think that I had written some poems that people are not going to forget.
‐‐ Peter Davison

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
‐‐ Ryan Stiles

If I were dammed of body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole, mother o' mine o mother o' mine.
‐‐ Rudyard Kipling

If I were dead, then nobody in England would have to fuss about the cost of my security and whether or not I merited such special treatment for so long.
‐‐ Salman Rushdie

If I were dictator, I'd have a catch-all crime of disrespect.
‐‐ Richard Griffiths

If I were doing a real rock show, slapping the phone book in time to the music, grooving with the songs, then it would matter to know how I felt about what I was playing. You can't fake it in that situation. But I'm just counting them down as they appear on the chart, 1 through 40. What really matters is what I say between the songs.
‐‐ Casey Kasem

If I were doing something that the Bible condemns, I have two choices. I can straighten up my act, or I can somehow distort and twist and change the meaning of the Bible.
‐‐ Jerry Falwell

If I were dropped out of a plane into the ocean and told the nearest land was a thousand miles away, I'd still swim. And I'd despise the one who gave up.
‐‐ Abraham Maslow

If I were ever to grace the pages of 'Vogue,' I would want my image retouched because the audience is so vast. There is great vulnerability in being exposed to that many judging eyes. I feel no small amount of guilt over this willingness to surrender my ideals.
‐‐ Roxane Gay

If I were gay, life would be a lot simpler. I'm kind of annoyed that I'm not.
‐‐ Grace Slick

If I were given a choice between two films and one was dark and explored depraved, troubled or sick aspects of our culture, I would always opt for that over the next romantic comedy.
‐‐ David Schwimmer

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
‐‐ Charles M. Schulz

If I were God, I would just be up there scratching my head, thinking, 'What the hell am I supposed to do with this?' For everyone helping an old lady across the street, there's someone else bludgeoning a person to death. And sometimes they're the same. How can He separate us all out?
‐‐ Michael Shannon

If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary.
‐‐ Margaret Atwood

If I were going to stay in coaching, I would have stayed right there because I was totally happy.
‐‐ Darrell Royal

If I were hanged on the highest hill, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! I know whose love would follow me still Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
‐‐ Rudyard Kipling

If I were happy, married with six children, I wouldn't be writing. And I doubt if I should want to.
‐‐ Anita Brookner

If I were immersed in constant melancholy, I would not be who I am.
‐‐ Elie Wiesel

If I were in a room full of people, I'd rather be the person who is more interesting than the one who is wallpaper.
‐‐ Marilyn Manson

If I were in a situation where I had to meet a pack of wolves and my family is with me, I'm going to be scared, but I'm not going to hide behind my son to protect me. They're going to hide behind me.
‐‐ Jon Seda

If I were in charge of the government, I would index the minimum wage to inflation, so that way, everybody knows what they can count on.
‐‐ Fred DeLuca

If I were in politics, and if you ever get me in the White House, trust me, there's a big change coming. What happened to America? We lost our roots.
‐‐ Phil Robertson

If I were in politics, I'd make both left and right sit down and make good decisions about national health. It's a huge problem, and it is something we all should be part of.
‐‐ Helen McCrory

If I were in the Beatles, I'd be a good George Harrison.
‐‐ Noel Gallagher

If I were in the government, I would persuade the prime minister to see the beauty in the fact that people see Israel as a haven - from their sadness to their hope.
‐‐ Elie Wiesel

If I were involved with the NBA, I wouldn't want a 19-year-old or a 20-year-old kid to bring into all the travel and all the problems that exist in the NBA. I would want a much more mature kid. I would want a kid that maybe I've been watching on another team, and now he's 21, 22 years old instead of 18 or 19, and I might trade for that kid.
‐‐ Bobby Knight

If I were John Bolton, I'd take great consolation in the words of my principal supporter on the committee, who gave a ringing endorsement, which was, There is no evidence that he has broken any laws.
‐‐ Mark Shields

If I were king of the world, babies born in airplanes, balloons and blimps would, instead of choosing to be German, Maldivian or American, all get special heavenly blue passports with a stork on the cover labeled 'Sky Baby' - and they'd be allowed to come and go anywhere they please.
‐‐ Robert Krulwich

If I were king of the world there wouldn't be boat people, there would only be people coming in boats. I would mix us all up so that we were all exactly one shade of each other.
‐‐ Bryce Courtenay

If I were less than honest as a critic, I think people would spot that right away, and it would destroy my credibility.
‐‐ Leonard Maltin

If I were like a lot of other people, then it wouldn't be fun; but since I'm like me, it's okay.
‐‐ Branford Marsalis

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.
‐‐ Ryan Stiles