Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool. Jen Kirkman adultfacemargarita Change image and share on social
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public debate - I've been told over and over again that I will 'change my mind' about not wanting kids. Jen Kirkman agebabychange share on social
I have memories of my grandfather Kirkman making mashed potatoes that were so good because they tasted like a bowl of butter. I love my mom's brownies. My favorite thing about both of those recipes is that someone else made them for me. Jen Kirkman bowlbrowniebutter share on social
Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time. Jen Kirkman cameraeventuallyhave Change image and share on social
Asking questions about why I don't want kids is really none of your business, but at least it's a dialogue. Jen Kirkman businessdialoguekid Change image and share on social
I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night. I try to make humor out of that situation. Jen Kirkman acceptbringguy Change image and share on social
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch. Jen Kirkman butterscotchcartcollege Change image and share on social
There are a lot of things I might be good at, such as competitive figure skating, window washing from ten stories up, and being an open heart surgeon. I might also make an excellent Kamikaze pilot - except for the fact that I don't want to learn how to fly and have no interest in taking my own life on behalf of Japan. Jen Kirkman behalfcompetitiveexcellent share on social
Have you ever tried to talk to a baby or a toddler? They never look you square in the eyes, they know about three words, and God forbid they ever ask you how you're doing. It's all about them! Jen Kirkman babyeyeforbid Change image and share on social
Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny. Jen Kirkman actbringbusiness Change image and share on social