Douglas Horton

Life is good when we think it's good. Life is bad when we don't think.

Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant.

While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself.

The Parthenon without the marbles is like a smile with a tooth missing.

It's an ear job, not an eye job.

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.