David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

I'm not confident with the ladies. I can't just ask someone out in a club. I'd like to say I'm a gentleman.

Every time there's an institutional issue like impeachment, there's concern from the outside about what will happen.

Well, I actually wrote her a letter a couple of days ago congratulating her. The tone I tried to convey in the letter is, look, you are a part of a great American historical process.